Frequently Asked Questions
A: Yes. If your partner is not open to this, we can work on your relationship skills 1:1. Know, however, that it isn’t going to be quite as useful as if you work together. If you are wanting better relationship skills for a future relationship, we can do that, too. Let’s talk about your best options.
This isn’t impossible but presents a lot of challenges and lots of coaches just won’t do it. As I would be coach to both, I have to support both equally and advocate for the Relationship. Knowing one person beforehand creates opportunity for the perception of favouritism or one feels left out or there is secret keeping which is NOT allowed. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh, my! Anyway, if the conditions are there, we can discuss this. Preference is for both people the entire time or 1 person only the whole time.
A: My simple definition: If you believe you are a couple, you are one! You may use or prefer a different term and happy to use that.
Two people together who consider themselves together in the romantic (even if it has stopped being so) sense.
I don’t care if you are legally married, living together, living separately, with kids, without kids, same sex, opposite sexes or if you are a couple that don’t fit the societal norm of what a couple is.
I am an ICF Certified Coach. I’ve done training specific to working with more than one person at a time (ORSCC), in service of the Relationship. Some Relationship Coaches choose to work with one person to get them into a healthy relationship. My calling is to work with all parties in the relationship together.
I’ve offered 3 month packages in the past but the reality is that, in most cases, it DOES take longer and I felt I wasn’t being upfront about that. It didn’t take you 6 weeks to have things go awry so won’t take you 6 weeks to resolve it. It takes time to figure out what is really going on – to get beyond the surface issues to the real heart of the matter; to learn some foundational relationship skills; and to create workable and sustainable solutions customized for you.
Also, I also wanted a system in place to have the changes be sustainable, so that’s what the last 6 monthly sessions are designed for.
The shorter packages are for those who aren’t in the thick of problems and issues. They are more about providing foundational skills or for those who have a single problem/issue coming up. Some of you may think it is only one issue and discover more which is why I both offer these AND offer a discount if you want to continue. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know.
It is a tool I love to use. It provides insight into each individual’s motivation (which is where/when we feel best about ourselves) in Relationship. Our motivation forms our intent and drives our behaviour. Often, one person’s behaviours don’t make sense to the other which leads to conflict. This tool also set out an easy to understand Conflict model. For more info you can visit: http://totalsdi.ca/.
For instance, some “best practices” communication tip may just not work within this relationship – culture or past experiences can play a role in this so nothing wrong with that. If something doesn’t work here, let’s not do that, let’s make it something different.
Even in the more prescribed offerings, we work with YOUR real life issues.
Generally, therapy tends to be about healing the past so you can better deal with the present and ongoing. Coaching starts from where you are and looks toward the future. There is a place for both, and sometimes at the same time. Coaching usually entails action – homework, take-away practice, etc.
I mostly work within regular business hours 8am-6pm. Talk to me about your needs and we’ll see what we can work out. I have worked with people who do shift work and have managed to be flexible and make this work. It may not be as structured as is ideal but that’s ok as long as it can work for all of us. I take on one or two clients at a time either early morning or early evening.
Not a problem at all. We can use telephone or skype and can be in 3 different locations. Some people like being in different rooms even if they are in the same house. Others really want to be together. Of course we need to modify what we are doing depending on where you both are.
Yes, absolutely. At the same time, I am not a sex therapist and am not trained about dysfunction and in depth issues. If it is about coming to common understanding about your sex life, yes.
ABSOLUTELY! Certified Coaches have a Code of Ethics we must adhere to and Confidentiality is key. I always tell people they can discuss anything I said and I can’t talk about them. I do use composite (no names/details) stories to describe my coaching to others. I also will ask your permission to provide your name and contact info to the Accrediting Body – ICF – which I need to do to keep my credentials up to date. Of course, a testimonial with your name is always amazing!