Who are you at your finest – your best self? What attributes does that person have? Are you gentle? Are you kind? Are you considerate or funny or passionate? And who are you at you worst? Are you impatient and critical? Are you angry? Completely unable to listen? Overwhelmed and unable to make a decision?
We all have our good days, bad days, good sides and shadow sides. They show up depending on lots of things – how rested or tired you are; how challenging the day was; and how often you had to use some of the attributes that aren’t easily replenished or that you don’t happen to have a huge supply of. Take patience, for instance. Some of us are super patient and others less so but even the most patient of people may use up their daily supply quickly if too many situations require its usage.
Ok, all of this is normal. Sometimes we are awesome and sometimes we are downright shitty. This stuff shows up. We are human. When it comes to having a healthy relationship though, one of the questions to ask yourself is….
How much of the BEST ME do I bring into my closest personal relationships?
Do I use all my listening and patience and curiosity and decision making skills at work? Do I then come home and am unable to listen to my partner’s stories and refuse to participate in vacation planning because I’ve made decisions all day and can’t make another one?
Do your workmates get that all that caring and tolerant side of you compared to how often your closest personal relationship gets that gift? Who gets the majority of the joy of experiencing that tired and snarky and critical about everything part of you?
I’m not suggesting that you switch it up 100% and take the crappy bits of yourself to work all the time because you’re gonna get fired! But what responsibility do you have to reserve and be conscious about bringing the best part of you into your closest relationships – those who love you even when you are a nasty sod.
What would be the change in your relationship if you tried to save a little bit of your best self for your partner?
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